Have a Great Thanksgiving Day Today!

I took advantage of the unseasonably warm weather here to take a nice walk before heading to the family gathering. Along my route I saw a little girl in her front yard. She yelled to me:

“Have a great Thanksgiving Day today!”

Which was really nice, so I said back “Thank you – you too!”

After a moment she yelled: “I’m just peeling the tomato!”

I didn’t quite know what to say to that. After a beat I said “Good job!”

I walked away wondering why she was peeling a tomato. Or maybe she meant potato? Either way, just one? And why in the front yard alone?

It will remain a mystery.


My husband and I were just looking outside and saw a lot of stuff floating in the air. Upon closer inspection we realized there were a bazillion gnats* flying around. The following conversation ensued:

Me: How am I supposed to mow the lawn if I can’t go outside?

Him: Why can’t you go outside?

Me: They could kill me!

Him: They’re not going to kill you.

Me: They could swarm.


Me: Death by gnat bite is a bad way to go, dude.

*any small unidentified flying insect is a gnat. look it up.

Another installment of…

An actual conversation of a married couple:

Me: Your whack-job cat has decided her new favorite place to sleep is in front of your laundry hamper.

Him: I know. That’s why none of my clothes are in the hamper.

Me: That’s why? What about the clothes that are in the dryer?

Him: They’re stored.

Me: But I need to use the dryer.

Him: You can take them upstairs. That wouldn’t be a problem.

Me: Good to know.

Another Actual Conversation of a Married Couple

Today my husband and I both tried to extend the holiday weekend by starting it a lunchtime. We went to the local pub and ate far-too-large cheeseburgers that tasted wonderful. I then decided I would walk home to try to make up for it (not really possible, but worth trying). When I got home this conversation happened:

him: I got your stuff at the store.

me: What stuff?

him: for the refrigerator

me: What stuff?


me: champagne?

him: yes!

me: okay – thanks. I’m going to make margaritas.

him: but I got you champagne!

me: I know, but I want a margarita.

him: I saw her.

me (quite used to conversational whiplash): her?


me: Rachel?

him: yes!

Now I really need the margarita. And possibly some ibuprofen….

An Actual Conversation of a Married Couple

upon hearing some unusual noises in the kitchen I realized my husband was doing more than just putting dirty dishes on the counter. The following conversation ensued.

me: The dishes in the dishwasher are clean; I just haven’t put them away yet.

him: Oh. I didn’t know that.

me: Are you putting dirty dishes in with the clean ones?

him: I’m doing it a different way.

me: What does that mean?

him: Be quiet. I’m HELPING.

*dishwasher turns on*